Campaign for Clarity

A Satirical Look at the Business Proposal.

By Kim Opitz

Buzz Words

HI THERE, IT'S ME... your marketing partner. You know, touching base with you on that project. I want you to know we dedicated some serious bandwidth to it, and went outside of the box with our ideation to develop some comprehensive creative solutions to your challenges.

Here's a summary of what I know: Your company possesses some incredibly-unique differentiating fac- tors, which include:

Your product. You're not just making products, you're making a difference. Because you adhere to the strictest standards throughout your process, integrating rigid quality control checks and open communication with the most important people of all – your customers.

Your service. Let's face it. You go above and beyond. You don't just meet your customers' expectations-you exceed them. You won't stop until they're satisfied, because that's when you know you've done the job right.

Your process. Great business doesn't happen overnight. That's why you're known as true strategic thinkers. Thought leaders. Innovators. You know how to define objectives, create strategies and implement tactics. Robustly.

Your employees. Who are we kidding? Employees are your greatest asset. You couldn't do what you do without them, and you wouldn't want to. Every single person contributes to the success of your customers. That's what makes you better than your competitors... that's what makes you a team.

Frankly, I think we're ready to take your company to the next level. It's time we launch you towards Success 2.0. Let me assure you we'll never stop working to surpass your expectations: today, tomorrow and in the future.

And if you think that's impressive, just wait until I actually say something meaningful.